Yes, I know it’s an awful pun. I couldn’t resist. Anyway, to point:

There are tons of rumors flying around right now about a possible tablet from Apple. Rumors about small, low energy processors and 9.7 inch touch screens top the list. I’ve seen some other blog posts about what a tablet from Apple would could look like and even an awesome video mockup of possible features.

But still, I have to add to the noise. There are a number of possible features that are make or break for me – things that the tablet needs to include to make it attractive to consumers (and possibly business). Everyone is scratching their heads about how a tablet could fulfill a place in the market that isn’t already filled by present technology. So brace yourselves, Apple. Here’s how you can do it:

Use the same multi-touch interface that’s on the iPhone. Users are used to it, it’s intuitive, and it works. The swipes, pinches, and taps are all great. However, unlike the iPhone, the tablet needs to ship with a stylus. Fingers won’t be enough for all the needed features. For ease of use, the stylus should also slip into the body of the tablet for storage.

Support the standard Apple apps for music, movies, and photos, just like on OSX. No scaled down mobile versions should be included, although the GUI’s will probably have to change to make use of the touch interface. Of course, the tablet should be able to play music and watch movies, whether they are streamed or locally stored.

I’d also like to be able to run standard business apps like MS Office, or some acceptable variation thereof. Email is also very important, via Wifi or a data network.

Handwriting recognition is a must. This is the single most important feature Apple can include, especially if it wants to reach the business market. I want to be able to write with a stylus and have my handwritten text reliably turn into printed type without much editing. If I have to do much editing or write painstakingly perfect in order for the tablet to translate my handwriting, they’ve lost me. I don’t mind training the tablet, however.

Also, the “notes” or whatever they will be called, need to have a folder interface that is easy to navigate, fully searchable, and perhaps organized in multiple ways. I want to sort them into folders by date or keywords. I’d like to tag them like blog posts. That would be great.

If the tablet is going to find a place in the market , it needs to not only find a niche between the smartphone and the laptop, it needs to replace (analogue?) technologies, specifically, the regular old notepad. Part of my job has me taking a lot of handwritten notes quickly. Let me take them on a tablet instead of on a legal pad, convert them to type, easily import them into my computer, and I’m well on my way buying an Apple tablet.

Microphone with Voice Recognition for recording lectures and interviews. The iPhone already does this (via the Voice Memos App), but I’d love to be able to take notes while recording an interview on the same device.

People might scoff at this functionality, but for students, taking notes (and actually writing things down) is the first step toward memorization. However, if they miss something, a recording would be great. For journalists, recording an interview while taking notes on their subject’s body language is important. For myself (tech writer), I draw a lot of quick diagrams on my legal pads while engineers are spewing specs at me. I want to be able to record their voices while I draw the diagrams.

I’d also like to be able to control the tablet via Voice Recognition, just like the iPhone, but with more features. All I can do with the iPhone’s voice recognition is call people and control the iPod. I want to be able to navigate the tablet with my fingers, a stylus, and my voice, all at once. I want to open, close, play, e-mail John Doe, New Folder, New Note, Edit, Cut, Copy, Paste, etc. I want to use my stylus to enter information and my voice to easily navigate menus.

Video chat, which means not only a mic, but a small camera. It doesn’t have to be awesome, just functional and easy to set up.

I’d also prefer it integrate easily into a web-interface. I want to be able to email my parents a web address, have them open it, and there I am, talking to them over the internet via a video chat. Who cares if I can’t see them. They’d like to see me.

However, if my parents have the technology, I want video chat to be as easy as making a phone call. It’s ease of use that halts video chat from taking off into the mainstream. I expect Apple could (and should) make it easier.

Full featured web-surfing (read: with Flash) needs to be on the tablet. Safari on the iPhone is great, but I want to be able to do almost anything on the tablet browser that I can do on a computer browser. That means flash and other browser plug-ins.
Full-featured OS. Don’t use the iPhone OS. I don’t want a big-screen iPhone. I want OSX optimized for the touch interface. I want the tablet to be as functional as possible.

Ability to install third party software. I want a fully featured machine, not a glorified iPhone. I love my iPhone and I’ll put up with locked down app store on my phone, I wouldn’t put up with it on a tablet. I want to be able to homebrew and use third party software without big apple (was trying for a “big brother” portmanteau type thing) looking over my shoulder. I want to install anything I damn well please.

I understand that this means Apple might not make as much money from their tablet App Store (I’m sure they’ll have a branch of the app store for their tablet), however, I don’t think they should be as worried about it as they are right now. They’ve already established their App Store as the place to go for apps, and If I’m looking for tablet software, I’d probably go to the Apple Tablet App Store first. If I found a good product that was cheap, I’d buy it. However, if there is an App that I want, I don’t want to have to jailbreak my tablet to get it. It’s the device lockdown I have a problem with, not Apple’s store.

Now, I understand that a third party app might lower my battery life or compromise my data. That’s a risk I’m willing to take as an informed consumer. But I want to be able to make that choice on my own, not have Apple make it for me.

Various Types of Network Access. The tablet needs to be WiFi capable, of course. That’s a given. However, I’d like to be able to purchase a data plan through a cellular provider, if I so choose. I don’t want to have to purchase a 3G plan to buy the tablet, but I want it to be an option. I’d like to be able to choose between a monthly plan and a prepaid contract. I’d also like to be able to purchase limited access for few days, on the fly. Let me explain:

I want to be able to buy an Apple tablet with no data plan, but a SIM card for a network I choose. If try to use the internet without a Wifi connection, the browser brings me to a network “home” screen. It won’t let me on the net without buying a plan, but it gives me several options: buy an unlimited monthly plan, a limited amount of prepaid data (5 gigs, 1 gig, whatever), or a day pass. At first, I just choose to find a wifi connection.

However, two days later I take a weekend trip and decide to just take my tablet instead of my laptop. I know I’m going to want internet access for that weekend, so I buy a weekend unlimited data pass. All I have to do is try to use the net on my tablet. It brings me to the home screen. I choose a 72-hour data pass. Bam! Internet access for the weekend. That’s all I wanted, and that’s all I pay for. The weekend goes well. I surf on the beach, both waves and the internet. Life is good.

The week after that, I decide that I might like more data access. I enjoyed the experience of surfing the net on my tablet, so I decide to buy a limited prepaid data plan. I buy five gigs, right from my tablet. A counter on the home screen tells me know much I bought and how much I have left. Cool.

It takes me two months to get through my five gigs – I apparently love surfing the net on my tablet. I decide to buy a monthly data plan.

A silly example, but you get the idea. The point is: I don’t want the tablet to be tied to one provider when I buy it, and I don’t want to have to buy a monthly plan if I don’t want to. I understand that this means the tablet may be more expensive (since the price won’t be subsidized by the cellular company. That’s fine. I’d pay more for more choice.

Jacks. Two USB, headphones, mic. ‘Nuff Said.

Sync. I want the sync to be as easy as syncing my iPhone. Or even easier. I want to sync all the documents on the tablet with my PC or Macbook, including my email, contacts, notes, and whatever else. Whether this is with the old “briefcase” style folders or whatever. It would be fantastic if there was an over the air option (with a data plan), too.

Battery life. The battery needs to be large and powerful enough to last a full eight hour workday or constant use. Of course, more than eight hours would be better, but at least eight hours is necessary. It also needs to support at least twenty-four hours of standby time, which shouldn’t be much of a problem if it can support eight hours of use.

Well, anyway, that’s probably enough of a wall of text for one day. If Apple is working on a tablet and it includes the above features, I’ll be in line on the first day with my cash in hand (or my company’s cash, if I could somehow convince my boss I needed the thing for work). If the rumors are just rumors, well, someone else should make the damn thing and include this feature list. Either way, I’ll be waiting.

-mispeled out